the truth

its just a feeling

2010-07-14T20:09:00.000+08:00

no other

2010-07-09T13:00:00.000+08:00

10 random sweet things you can do for a girl:

1. Tie her shoes
2. Wash her car
3. Buy her a rose
4. Make her a card
5. Record her a video of your talent
6. Play/sing a song for her
7. Give her a balloon with a ring attached at the end
8. Make her a heart mural
9. Take pictures of various hearts
10. Build her a heart puzzle

2010-06-18T15:11:00.000+08:00

in the end somehow

2010-06-15T23:08:00.004+08:00

Late lunch @ Swensens today with my chingu, Fidiani.
So sweet huh. She went all the way to Woodlands just to have lunch with me. :)

Just found out one fun fact about her today. She hates bananas too! Whopeee to same boat.

something wrong somewhere

2010-06-13T22:18:00.003+08:00

Shit. School tomorrow. oh my good god. I am so not in the mood to be recharged for lessons at the moment. Just too bad for me.

cherry bomb

2010-06-12T21:32:00.007+08:00

Pathetic. My twitter updates cannot load on the twit gadget on my blog. You know what? Forget it.

School's starting on monday while everyone else starts their holidays by then. Have fun you lucky people.

So today, some customer was asking me to get for him all the "travel pack sized" items he needs for his two weeks holiday vacation. So i became a kaypoh and asked him where he was going. South Africa.
lol, okay. i think i know. nuff said.

besides, maybe this time is different

2010-06-09T01:18:00.004+08:00

Someone once told me,
that some things are meant to change for the better.

*

Yay for a meet-up with my old friends today. :)

your handwriting

2010-06-03T17:12:00.005+08:00

Someday I will discover a plane of existence
where I don’t have to worry about anything at all.

* * * * *

Watched movies after movies, munched on rittersport and magnum gold, online shopping, tweet-ing :)

I love every bit of this slack life. Next week i think i'm going to do allot of catching up with my good old friends. I miss them all.

And maybe... to Sengkang for a good swim.

I love how it is so desolated there.

hip song

2010-05-29T22:53:00.006+08:00

My days couldn't have gotten any better.

An MC on the last day of school, woke up at 2:11PM on a Friday thanks to a phone call and today, my parents have reached Singapore. whopeee!

Starting from tomorrow, it's going to be purely work and work and work.

I don't know. I guess whats happening at the end of the year is just driving myself into motivation to work real hard, even if i'm tired or not.

My shemale friend just texted me to tell me that i am a friggin workaholic.
Yeah maybe you're right.

WISHLIST:

who's your airplane?

2010-05-25T21:48:00.003+08:00

A bad week for the body: I suddenly cannot abide by it.

Exhausting and exhausted.

Friday, i can smell you baby. :)

HuH

2010-05-24T23:18:00.004+08:00

So how was your mundane monday like?

I set to be in bed by 2230 hours just so i can have a fulfilling 6 hours of sleep.

But its 2319 right now. I am just too addicted in procrastinating time and writing really long Rj's which half of it is full of purely emotions from a student like me.

I did a little research.

Here are a few steps to achieve a healthy balance:
Set limits on the hours and attention you devote to your job.
Set aside quality time for your personal relationships and pleasures.
Confront possible fear of failure or insecurities -- talk to a pastor or counselor.
Define your worth through God, do not replace Him with idolizing self or career.
Use your creativity toward accomplishments other than work, perhaps hobbies.
Be sensitive to the needs of your family and friends.
Take up healthy physical workouts -- swim, hike, or go to the gym

I swear i friggin can't wait for Friday Friday Friday whopeeeedooo :D

Here's some scary 80's vintage kate bush stuff ya all gotta listen to if you want to perk up your boring monday night.

bubble love

2010-05-22T00:16:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, i just wanna cry so badly when i think about my screwed up life.

Cos i'm so confused, its like i don't even know how to make decisions anymore.

so delicate, so pure

2010-05-13T22:22:00.000+08:00

Do you pray with your eyes closed?

language is the liquid we're all dissolved in

2010-05-09T21:09:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow is Monday. God are you kidding me?

Getting life in order, Part I

immediate future
* to quit or not to quit job?
* swim
* study, study, study really really really hard
* sell back textbooks
* get involved in event management
* get a job in a bookstore
* expand social network
* be more confident and talk crap
* lessen procrastination
* save up and splurge on cheap thrills, vintage goods, boho wears, diva rings, miss selfridge, the oxfords, perlini's silver charm bracelet
* keep in touch with those who are leaving, left and moved on
* visit thailand this year

more general future
* more clothes more shoes more bags more ring more charm bracelets more vintage finds
* convert wardrobe to functional clothing items that travel well
* throw out old school papers
* sell/donate ALL excess clothing
* sell/donate ALL excess books
* tweet more
* respond to emails!
* figure out what the fuck I am doing.

there's a light that never goees out - the smiths

2010-05-03T21:28:00.000+08:00

It's happening again.

I don't know why my mood crashes so hard.

impromptu

2010-04-30T15:29:00.000+08:00

I don't want to cry, I'm just saying that if I did, I couldn't because I am SO TIRED /curls up in hallway and sleeps.

don't stop can't stop

2010-04-23T23:38:00.004+08:00

Today was a mad rush hour for me.

Red line to green line in 45 minutes - there is hell no way that i could make it on time for work.

I'm sorry my dear colleagues, area manager, manager and supervisor, but i really don't think i can go on any longer.

lucid

2010-04-18T15:41:00.005+08:00

I am the only one from my course/school in my class. :(
(Considering the fact that CCC has only 100 people)

But everyone was really nice. The girls are so vocal, i think i will have to step out from my comfort zone anytime soon.

Still, i am still struggling to cope with my school's learning system. Its not hard, just that i'm still not comfortable with it. The paper-less culture is sort of bothering me a little. Its like i'm so used to hardcopy work for what - ten years? Now its all done online. But i guess i'm okay with it, i think.

I think at the moment, i just need to work on my traveling distance from Tampines to the other end of Singapore. I was late on my first day of class, can you believe it? Hah. But still, hope things turns out for the better. Big time.

*

I want this bag.

jazz

2010-04-12T23:51:00.001+08:00

So as for me, my transiting three-year tertiary education course starts tomorrow. For real and no more being oblivious about it.

P.s. I skipped school today. hahah.

meanie monster

2010-04-05T21:18:00.002+08:00

oh my good god!

My freshman orientation camp starts this thursday! DANGGG!

Also, i'm starting to love Adam Lambert. His songs are starting to grow on me. Yay gays :)

for another one

2010-03-31T23:50:00.002+08:00

Work is taking a toll on me. Now that i'll be stationed at Toa Payoh, its going to be a little different now that my colleagues won't be around. I'll be a loner. ahhhh D:

Honestly speaking, eversince the O's ended, my life has been such a slack. All i knew was to enjoy life as it is and not care about anything. Not even a single thing.

But now i sort of feel an emptiness in me, like its meant to be filled with something much more purposeful in life.

Hell yeah i'm not excited for school. I'm just excited for the curriculum. I really miss getting all stressed up and insane for nothing. Good thing school's starting really soon.

I need to fill up this empty gap pronto. It's killing me. Really.

yes, you!

2010-03-27T01:40:00.002+08:00

At this time of the night i am watching Yes Man while munching on a bag of chips.

Just today, i realize that my colleagues do take notice about my absence which caused me to feel so recharged for work after being drugged with danzen tablets.

Yep, i caught the flu bug. Again.

sometimes i wish

2010-03-22T23:07:00.003+08:00

I don't need to know everything, you said -- just what matters.

I HAVE ALWAYS HAD THE LARGEST SECRET AGENDA.

2010-03-19T17:35:00.003+08:00

I wish i had Fidiani's house.

I want to wake up each day witnessing aeroplanes landing on the runway as my backyard balcony too.

underwater

2010-03-14T23:32:00.002+08:00

I think the hot headline on today's Berita Minggu really attracted me.

It's uncomfortable watching it at first, but seriously, look at their moves!

They really wow-ed me.

lovely

2010-03-12T00:17:00.003+08:00

I am so excited for my brother when i know, i'm not the one going.

I don't know how anyone can contain their emotions when they're getting prepared to leave Singapore to visit a place they've always dreamt of going by feeling all calm and collected.

Ahhh. Lucky boy. I'll just have to wait for my turn. God knows when.

*

On a lighter note, i am just so freaking proud of my friend, Nadia. She got accepted to nafa. Congrats babe. :)

smokey eyes

2010-03-08T00:38:00.002+08:00

I can't believe i got through the whole stretch of last week working non-stop without an off day (!)
Don't quite understand my manager's agenda, but now that there's new colleagues, i hope she does something about it. Big time.

Plans for this week:

To learn something new.

I gain new experiences each day, but i wish to be able to complete something more practical.

Like baking, cos my strawberry/marshmallow-chocolate-coated experiment was a huge failure or maybe even cycle for hours and hours and hours and get lost.

Watch planes fly past by or maybe even chop my hair off.

Play dress up.

I want to do something for a change. Something pretty extreme yet safe at the same time.

Cos i just realized i'm left with a few more weeks. uh oh, the frowny. :(

like it ain't no curfew

2010-03-05T22:38:00.003+08:00

Work is getting exhausting.
More new colleagues joining the branch. Could be a good thing i guess.

I wanna watch Alice.

*

I want something into which all the ways I've failed can be poured/negated.
I want purposeful love, action, work.
To mean something greater than myself.

My control over time is faltering.
My control over myself, always in question.
Certain tastes mark failure to overcome impulse. Others mark restraint.

I want to live wholly with happiness over money, happiness over should.

I know this. And still -- my actions seldom align with my desires --
I want the sharpest features.
To speak clearly, precisely.

To form definite opinions. To show strength and autonomy.
Then to stop wanting, because I am at last a sharp thing.

greatest find

2010-03-02T00:21:00.002+08:00

every word feels like a shooting star
i'm at the edge of my emotions
watching the shadows burn in the dark

Yesterday was really exhausting. :(

Its 12:26 AM right now and honestly speaking, my biological body clock is all screwed up.

Not. A. Good. Thing.

no you hang up

2010-02-28T18:21:00.004+08:00

Really diabetic - but in cases like this, no one cares.

Planning to do some of this on Tuesday! :)

I finally received school administration papers yesterday.

Exciting much? I don't know.
I don't really quite know what to expect actually.

drifting and floating and fading away

2010-02-28T00:10:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was the last day Alvin is going to be around.

Things turned out okay, though i expected someone to cry. I really wanted drama!

I'm going to miss him, though i had a hard time just trying to impress and live up to that old man's expectations.

Now the store is going to be a little weird and awkward (for me) now that my step aunt is running the store. uh oh uh oh. Scary issue.

Anyway, watched Dear John yesterday. Such a huge letdown. I mean, its Channing Tatum plus Nicholas Sparks. Like what could go wrong? But sadly it did.

Maybe its time to watch this:
(Credits to Sonia and Joe Jonas)

are you going to be a bad boy?

2010-02-22T00:28:00.002+08:00

I wanted to laugh so hard when i was swiping this guy's credit card.
His name was: PAUL ABDUL.

Oh my gosh. People are so funny. :)

Which got me thinking, hey, i really do like meeting people from all walks of lives.

I find it interesting that customers are made up of people who are just too pushy or too demanding or too nice or just too mean or even plain rude. It's a jumble of everything in between.

It's funny when i think about it, but really, i think i'm starting to appreciate retail allot.

pretext

2010-02-19T21:40:00.004+08:00

February seems like a rushy month for me.
And i don't quite understand why too.

I want a huge change.
I can't say what exactly.

Attempted in increments: a boyfriend, new job, new books, new shirt, new travel plans for my next one and a half month break. Want to dye my hair pink, white, cut all two and a half feet off.

I only tell you this because I'm lost--

I want to read different books, meet different friends. I want different weather and a different apartment. I keep running, barely looking into mirrors, where am I --

I want a different body, but that's not exactly it --

No use trying to make sense of desire, the itch to transform. In the end I want to be good enough at something, but ambition makes me sick --

I want to run a vintage store, help people publicize and plan large events, design their websites, make clothes, I don't know --

I also want to cut my tongue out, to never write another word down. This impulse in particular takes over --

I can feel old methods on the rise. Accidental negative intake for three days running. And so, but then --

Everything else fails.

* * * * *

TGIF :D

It's Korean night for me tonight. Love fridays :)

pretty reckless

2010-02-15T23:57:00.002+08:00

Long, long conversations all day lately with real random strangers. A lot of laughing. Sometimes I feel connected to everyone, even if I don't know them.

New friends, new curiosities, addicted to talking forever, to seeing people vulnerable, seeing people scared and then watching their mood change, pointing out how bizarre and silly their burdens are, how most things are hilarious and odd when you step back.

I keep saying this will pay off, it will be worth it, but what am I working towards?

enticing

2010-02-12T16:18:00.004+08:00

happy seventeenth khatu matu <3

You know, i really really really miss not paying attention in class with you and just talking crap. Hope you're having a good time in school. :)

TGIF! For some of us, its going to be a real good weekend, but not for me.

Its okay, i guess. Working real hard for the money.

shutters and the gutters

2010-02-11T01:34:00.004+08:00

I nearly fainted when this hot brit boy walked into the store today. HAHAH :D

* * * * *

45 minutes rejecting all possibilities

reconnecting

2010-02-09T01:47:00.003+08:00

i'm not going cos i've been waiting for a miracle
and i'm not leaving
i won't let you, let you give up on a miracle
when it might save you

junpei mizobata

2010-02-06T22:18:00.003+08:00

Not exactly a huge Beatles fan, but i feel the need to watch this. Aaron Johnson! :)

Anyways, had a hard time at work today.

Really, if killing was legal, i would have killed my boss. For good.

alice

2010-01-31T01:49:00.003+08:00

I do ask myself the same question sometimes:
What went wrong?

* * * * *

I don't like it when someone tells me something about myself that I haven't yet realized.
If I lack the courage to tell myself something revealing, I am not ready to hear it from someone else.

oppa reul saranghae

2010-01-26T23:15:00.003+08:00

Finally.... An off day after what seems like forever.

Everyone at work is like diseased. One of my colleague just got discharged from h1n1. Another is on MC and i have to cover up his weekends shifts for him (!). And my manager has a terrible cough. Thing is, he likes to cough without covering his mouth. Goddd.

Anyway, I can't belief that Daniel Ong is quitting 987. :((( He's like Dan the man. ahhh, why are so many good people quitting? Simon, now him? This is kind of bad.

Okay, so tomorrow i'm getting two very exciting yet nerve-wrecking things that will affect my life for, let see, the whole of next month and probably even how i am going to live in the next few years.

Payslip and results! uh oh uh oh.

I really dont know what to expect. Hoping for the real real best. *Fingers crossed*

* * * * *

I've been keeping my heart light, building positive energy.
People have so many layers & I love looking through them.

wonder lander

2010-01-21T16:38:00.003+08:00

Thank God, i managed to watch the re-run of Glee today.

It's really really really good. 'Don't stop believing' is already stuck in my head. I can't stop singing it! Love the show. :)

So anyway, i've been down with a cold for the whole of Jan. Not a good thing to start the year with.

Come to think of it, i'm working at a pharmacy. Hahah, the irony.

Does anyone knows how to get a typewriter?

black box

2010-01-16T11:48:00.002+08:00

Heart is in my mouth.

Spinning in circles,

Anxiety-stricken,

Blind the lights out and count to a hundred.

neverland

2010-01-10T18:25:00.001+08:00

The eleventh hour.

just say yes

2010-01-03T18:55:00.003+08:00

I really want to visit the exhibition "Quest for Immortality - The World of Ancient Egypt" at NMS so badly!

So anyway, today, some customer gave me permission to dig into her Marc by Marc Jacobs duffel bag to search for her LV wallet cos she just had her nails painted.

Wow.

hello something new

2009-12-31T14:16:00.029+08:00

The fluttering wings of my too many feelings, too many memories.

BEST OF 2009
[Not in any chronology order]

Cousin's wedding :)

I really love its camera functions.

I'm never get sick or tired listening to this song even till today. On top of that, the music video is really cool. Killer dance moves!

I love this song! I love KOL's, Paramore's even Pixie Lott's version. The lyrics are really deep and its just an amazing song. :)

The start of K-wave taking control of me (both physically and mentally). Hahah.

saranghaeyo <3

* * * * *

New Year's Resolutions:
(Some of which has forever been on the list, never able to accomplish)

1. Read and write more seriously; make it priority, rely on them to see me through, relinquish fear.

2. Keep in touch with my High School; Primary School friends. Remind them they're loved.

3. Make brand new ones. Keep talking to strangers, keep forcing myself into situations where I know no one.

4. Be honest with myself and everyone about everything. So that when I am honestly, finally, undeniably thin, it will be the best, most honest thing. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, and this year I am going to be impenetrable.

5. Try new things, always.

6. Find good music, find good shows, good museum exhibits, good parties, good times, and document as much as possible in photos and journals.

7. Save up, but don't end up spending too much.

8. Smile, be optimistic, even if disappointment kills.

9. Hope things turns out good in Jan. I hope that all my hard work and effort is put into good use. Fingers crossed.

10. Get myself a holga, lomo and instax. I don't think i'm ready for a dslr yet.

11. Relax. No matter what happens, write it down, photograph it, meditate, pray, and know that like everything, soon it will be over.

swell

2009-12-30T15:19:00.002+08:00

BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT (to date) EVER.

* * * * *

So last Monday, was the first time I ever offended a customer - unintentionally.

There was this male customer with his (assumed) girlfriend clinging around him, while paying for his goods purchased.

Obviously i addressed to him as "Sir".

Throughout the whole convo with him, his girlfriend just gave me a weird look. I just ignored her.

It was only till I gave the boyfriend his change when he said in the most harshest tone ever "I'm not a 'Sir' alright." and simply walked away. It was at that moment that I realized that he was actually a 'she'.

I did apologized, but really, its not my fault for offending her. She really did looked like a guy and I bet anyone would even mistook him for a male too.

눈 내리는 마을

2009-12-23T00:28:00.002+08:00

Going out of town tomorrow! So freaking excited *throws pom-poms*

And i'm thinking of going for sauna. WHOPEEDOOO :)

Nunan Neomu Yepeo (Replay)

2009-12-21T00:47:00.002+08:00

The scariest thing about memories is thinking you're going to forget them.

diva

2009-12-18T22:33:00.003+08:00

Do you ever think about me when i'm not there?

jojo

2009-12-15T23:57:00.000+08:00

If I’m not tired, I don’t know what I am.

taeyang

2009-12-14T00:18:00.001+08:00

The spaces between s p a c e s.

the ghost of you

2009-12-12T12:12:00.002+08:00

Oh my gosh... Yesterday's Ee Bak Yil was the craziest episode so far.

And i missed Music Bank for the first time in a long long long time cos i was working. :(((

I never missed it. Not even during my mugging days for the GCE's.

On top of that all, i am so going to give today's Seoul'd Out Concert and Yuna's gig a huge miss.

But thats okay, (i think) cos I really just want to see FT Island and BEG's performance (Jong Hun and Ga-in in particular). Thats all. I really don't care about the rest.

* * * * *

Since there were no such words, I rehearsed the evening's events in fragmentary sentences.

声をきかせて

2009-12-07T23:53:00.003+08:00

I guess the downside about being the only teenager among your colleagues is that,
you don't breathe the same air as them.

It's really tough pleasing them without making any mistakes.

But i guess that's just the reality of it huh. I just have to live up to it.

Good thing i'm on leave tomorrow. My feet and arms hurt. Uh oh uh oh.

Can't wait for my vacation. Ahhhh..... so much longer.

nareul bogo utneyo

2009-12-06T00:30:00.003+08:00

It sucks to be working during weekends but i guess, i really should look at the brighter side of things.

Money rolling in. $$$ Whopeedooo :)

I've been thinking about the GCE's lately. It's already December and results are out early next month, oh shit, the horror.

But seriously, I haven't made up my mind. It's really confusing. I don't know where to go and what to do.

It's like a huge question mark blinking right in front of me.

(Sighs). I really hope things will turn out for the better.

I really do hope i am able to clear up my thoughts and have my mind fixed on something more important. I really do.

hello december

2009-12-02T23:08:00.003+08:00

I love the feeling after a good swim.

Or the feeling when my favorite song is on full blast in the car, driving through the expressway, overlooking the city.

I like when my mom makes my favorite meal.

I like traveling to nowhere, getting lost, and then the best part, being found.

I like being held by someone who means a lot to me, especially when I haven’t seen them in awhile.

We always complain there isn’t enough time.

Or that these moments never come around enough.

It’s true that we never stop growing old, and we mature faster than we’d like.
But time is the essence of life, and it brings change and surprise.

I like watching the people I care for get older, change, become who they’re suppose to be.

Sometimes we all wish to go back, to repeat a moment, or pause it forever.

But we need change, even when we don’t want it.

The cards are placed and time brings us closer to our destination.

All the while as we travel through.. the things we love doing, the people we share our life with, that’s the destiny.

We’re not suppose to end up anywhere, we’re suppose to make the best of this journey.

Why didn’t I realize that sooner?

don't waste another day

2009-11-29T13:43:00.008+08:00

Over the past few weeks:

It's like my heart can't wait any longer.

I can't wait for pay day! That spells for: RETAIL THERAPY :)

down to earth

2009-11-23T12:12:00.002+08:00

SOOOOOOO LETHAAAAAAAARGGGGGGICCCCCCCCCC :((((((

On a brighter note, i have a day's off tomorrow. WHOPEEDOO :)

ale ale alejandro

2009-11-19T18:07:00.003+08:00

I just love the monsoon season. :)

It's all about brollys, flip-flops with rubber grips, wet hair, drenched clothes and smudged make-up.

Above all, its time to hibernate.

listen to my heartbeat

2009-11-14T21:08:00.003+08:00

I sort of miss those mugging days which usually stretches far out till wee hours of the night.

How the ten year series books means so much to you more than anything else.

How your eyes hurts so much it feels like its going to pop out anytime soon and you have to suffer with dark eye circles.

Things have changed.

i was crazy about you

2009-11-09T16:02:00.002+08:00

Is it cruel or kind not to speak my mind? And to lie to you rather than hurt you?

First thing to strike off the list after Wednesday:
TO GET EMPLOYED

let me hear your voice

2009-11-05T13:42:00.003+08:00

Goodbye Principles Of Accounts! So long and good riddance.

I am NEVER EVER EVER going to do any business-related subjects ever again.

Okay bye, i am going to burn the book and all the notes now.

infiltrate

2009-10-29T12:16:00.005+08:00

Waking up is a beautiful thing.

I think for sixteen years I've taken it for granted.

love like this;

2009-10-25T13:49:00.001+08:00

( !!! )

You can't deny your looking for the sunset

2009-10-15T14:19:00.002+08:00

Tom: People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated.

Sweet Disposition

2009-10-11T13:29:00.004+08:00

It's funny how time flies really fast.

I know that's the most cliched statement ever but i still feel that it's an understatement.

Four years in a high school are now memories.

We've not gone through the official graduation ceremony yet,

But last Friday, was the really really really last time we are going to seat as a class.

I am so going to miss every freaking one of you guys.

I love you, 4E1 <3

Mr Jeff Lian :) Love you!

Just last year I was all anticipating to get out of this school

But now I'm standing here on my last day of school,

and I find myself hoping for just one more day.

victoria

2009-10-04T12:42:00.002+08:00

Someone like you
and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you

* * * * *

05/10 - 09/10
Last week :(

pixie

2009-10-02T22:59:00.003+08:00

Things are getting out of hand, everything seems to be spinning round and round.

Life is so unfair.

On my sixteenth, I learnt to celebrate while making huge sacrifices.

Even allowing my fingers to linger on the laptop right now feels like some guilty pleasure.

Harith is probably out there, somewhere, celebrating his belated birthday, just partying like how anyone his age would probably do too.

And here I am, glued to books, ten-year-series after ten-year-series.

But nevertheless, I wish to thank the awesome people for your birthday wishes, midnight text messages, gifts, hugs, kisses, facebook/tags, prank calls, bashes and all.

Thank You truckloads;

Aishah
Alyy
Aqasah
Ayuni, Eileen (thanks for singing to me non-stop)
Berlyn
Benji
Delfina
Eunice
Faizah
Fizzy
Fyre
Ghaz
Harith
Hazwan
Iqbal
Joe, Ianni, Amirah
Liyana
Kak Azreen
Kak Munirah
Mumtaz, Hidayu
Munirah
Nadia
Nat Torres
Natty
Paulynn
Rae - (500) Days of Summer QUICK!
Samirah
Sonia
The Four Musketeers
Zillah

Love you all. KAMSAHAMEDA :)

sweet beginnings and bitter endings

2009-09-21T20:13:00.006+08:00

Celebrations are only dampening my mood to study.

I suddenly feel so de-motivated. Though i'm not exactly blaming yesterday for today.

So I (finally) catched Ayat-Ayat Cinta - a movie, I believe, beautifully portrays love in Islam

And read chapters and chapters of the book i'm reading.

Gosh, I seriously should try and get away from festive moods and put myself back on track.

Not. A. Good. Thing.

On a brighter note, i'm feeling very very very rich. $$$

nichkhun horvejkul

2009-09-10T22:55:00.000+08:00

So you're asking me what the hell was I thinking?

You know (inserts name), sometimes some things are better left unsaid.

You look retired and I thought you got yourself retired already.

Don't be such a hypocrite please.

* * * * *

I want to do something to my hair.

two is better than one

2009-09-09T21:20:00.003+08:00

Have you ever been tongue-tied?

Have you ever felt a sense of paranoia in your bloodstream?

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you just can't bring yourself to say it?

Have you felt so disappointed to know that you're not good enough?

Have you ever blasted the stereo with songs so hardcore rock cos you're angry at yourself or someone?

Have you ever felt like forwarding the climax to the ending?

Have you ever felt the urge to break out of your shell and drain the shyness in you away?

So the question is, have you ever?

Paramore just keeps getting better and better.

justin bieber

2009-09-04T22:27:00.001+08:00

Hello, my name is Farhana and I have bruised kneecaps.

Thanks to the mat from Changkat Changi, i'll be spending my next few weeks walking in excruciating pain.

Help.

Spin me faster, like a kaleidoscope

2009-08-28T22:57:00.000+08:00

I just got back from a really decent dinner at Mad Jacks. Very ozzie-like.

I can't help recalling about what happened earlier today that made me smile till this very moment.

Even Nad is happy for me. Thanks ah girl.

* * * * *

Let me remain fractured, worn out, covered in salt, sand, wind, heartbrokened, curious, hurried, concerned, bloody, writing, starving, transfixed, enamored, disillusioned.

You can have my soul, you have it. I finally feel alive.

What do you do, to be strong?

gara gara go

2009-08-25T21:01:00.001+08:00

The past few weeks was awesome. :)

Cousin's wedding was insane. I had a great time scattering flowers on the groom. (HAHAH)

Last Friday turned out pretty well too. Worth remembering for a long long time. Thanks ah girls.

People, i'm uploading the photos on zip file cos image size are too big. I wonder if Del is facing the same problem as me since she's using a dSLR. Anyway people, please hold on for awhile okay.

* * * * *

Sixty-two more days to the big day.

NOTE TO SELF: HANG IN THERE ALRIGHT

Two and a half months of liberty is waiting for me.

Lets hope everything pays off well. Insyaallah.

static

2009-08-15T16:30:00.000+08:00

And I hope that someday we could talk and forget that time ever drew distance between us.

We could make a bridge out of words, as fragile as it might be, the awkward pauses and incomprehensible mumbling twisting and twining into some stronger foothold.

Someday, I might reach you and redeem myself.

But I wouldn't count on it any time soon.

Cousin's wedding tomorrow. Hmmm... I smell briyani. :)

Exams do not end till Monday. Practicals and the GCE's.

I'm so not looking forward to Monday. I hope not to screw up. Fingers crossed.

heulleoganeum sigane

2009-08-11T15:20:00.001+08:00

I might move to Xanga or Lj if Blogger continues to be such an ass at posting.

When giving out Biology papers, Mdm Irma whispered to me, "Orals exam next week okay!".

She sounded really exuberant about it. What a way to start the exams with. A wake up call.

And on top of that, I have not bought my dress for cousin's wedding day this weekend.

I'm seriously looking forward to Friday. These past two weeks has been really unfair and I honestly can't wait to see the end of it.

Insyaallah, things will run smoothly.

Lit and Accounts Paper 2 tomorrow. I seriously need to come out with good points for my essay and memorize the bloody tedious accounts format.

I don't wish to regret not dropping Accounts. I really don't want to.

sowoneul malhaebwa

2009-08-06T13:20:00.003+08:00

Brother's display performance was really "hearty" with heart balloons given out, the heart formation and whatnot.

Though he self-acclaims the dance moves are very gay. Agreed.

I am so going to lock myself up in my room for the next few days. Thank God for the extended public holidays.

I must not screw up Accounts. I must not screw up Accounts. I must not screw up Accounts.

Though I wish I could, I must not.

new perspective

2009-07-30T21:44:00.000+08:00

I really miss those days, when I was thirteen, fourteen, when life was not that so stressful.

And after school sessions are only about hanging around at shopping malls with friends and not worrying about anything else in the world.

Now that I'm graduating, I realized that things are way different now.

It's like I've stepped onto a whole new different level and suddenly felt so confident of who I am.

Those 'I-Love-Skulls' days, Goth Culture, Harith and the band, being neat to school, silly crushes, My Chemical Romance and all the crazy stuffs that I probably wasn't thinking straight back then.

How I've outgrown from all these crap.

Things have changed for me and that's okay. Really.

First Preliminary Examinations today was like urhhh.

I had to make sure my anti-migraine pills were with me, especially in times like these, or else i could have just collapsed.

I know this may sound a little too advanced, but I'm planning to go for a swim after Prelims.

I have to and I need to.

Qasha, want to join in? :)

I am trying not to tell you
But I want to, I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of holding this inside my head

Fading subtly

2009-07-24T21:33:00.003+08:00

I never laughed so much that I had a breakdown in public.
Thanks ah you crazy people for today.

(my) sunbae so handsome :)

making monsters

2009-07-10T22:34:00.002+08:00

Despite the root of all this movement, I want not to forget any of these moments,

Plant them in the space between my brain and my skull for safer keeping.

Things like this will be better when i'm confused, I tell myself; an easy lie I believe for now because lies like that always taste like a promise in the beginning.

the way mj made me feel

2009-07-05T21:43:00.005+08:00

Welcome July, you are peppermint and paint palettes, a fluid fever rooted under my tongue.

Of course, mornings are still cold, the sun is a dark outline beneath its lacquer, the pupil of the sky.

Things fall into place, clatter like thunder clapping on asphalt.

Nightmares interrupt my sleep, my muscles contract and I wake several times throughout the night, uneasy until I remember I am safe in the vicinity of 3 am.

Monday was the first time in a long time that I realize July won't be an easy month for me.

Things are going to get crazy and before I know it, the GCE's are here.

On top of that, remedial lessons are darn long and tedious. Its really not helping especially when my home is thirty minutes away from school and i can't help but fall asleep during bus rides.

Daydreams permeate, restlessness ensues.

Khat told me something. Something that I swear I never saw it coming.

The truth bites, but it does feels weird somehow.

I don't wish to get myself entangled into a knot. Maybe not now.

moviestar

2009-06-28T18:32:00.006+08:00

I got myself two things which lightened up my day - my very FIRST Korean and Malay album. :)

Oh gosh, i can't believe school is starting in less than 24 hours.

I'm still praying for some divine intervention to happen, though i think its a little too late.

I'm not ready to recharge my battery for school at all.

And its going to be July. July July July.

Life is going to be hectic for the next couple of months. Brace myself.

thug story

2009-06-19T22:46:00.002+08:00

Oh my god, i didn't know Taylor Swift could be so versatile. Hilarious, though. :)

This one week has been really intense. Thank God there's next week.

Transformers 2, Retail Therapy, Thrift Store hunting, okay next week is exciting.

*Breathe*

cry yourself to sleep

2009-06-17T23:15:00.002+08:00

Sonia asked me for the umpteenth time whether or not have i made up my mind for the DSA application.

The thing is, no, i have not.

And i'm giving second thoughts to Polytechnic, only that i'm still unsure which course will suit me well.

Confusing, yah definitely.

I don't know. Most probably might be skipping this DSA/DPA thing.

Cos really, i can't make up my mind yet.

* * * * *

hate me now so i can move on
make it easier to see that you're gone

21 guns

2009-06-16T22:26:00.002+08:00

Look who made it as my desktop wallpaper. teheee :)

Nad, we have to go to SS501's concert!

life is beautiful

2009-06-14T16:31:00.002+08:00

Cried while reading the book.

And i hope the movie will be as fabulous as the book.

I'll bring tissues.

remain unspoken

2009-06-13T18:45:00.003+08:00

PHOTOS GALORE

SP Experience @ Singapore Polytechnic 090609

The two girls beside Randall very lucky ah.

Guitar Ensemble Barbecue cum Step-down Party

Thanks Aqilah :)

you fit my description

2009-06-10T21:56:00.003+08:00

Today was all about truckloads of snapshots.

Ironically, i didn't eat that much.

Yeah, i'm sorry about my procrastination. I'll upload the photos up soon on Facebook. Promise.

I'm going out of town tomorrow. This calls for retail therapy! WHOPEEE :)

saranghae <3

2009-06-08T17:39:00.004+08:00

I never really got to touch the laptop for the past few days,

but anyway....... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KIM HYUN JOONG

사랑 김현중 <3

* * * * *

I wasn't expecting a Cassadee Pope hairstyle. I mean, at least thats what my hairstylist told me. But i look freaking weird. Oh man. S.O.S.

Last Saturday's CIP was such a total dang. On a brighter note, we got ourselves five bucks to cheer us up. haaah. Thanks ah True Hearts. :)

*I'll reply to tags soon. Sorry. At least i update, not like harith.

recrudescent

2009-06-05T21:22:00.003+08:00

Overdue Photos

Literature seminar yesterday was pretty monotonous however, having Haresh Sharma for Off-Centre discussion was definitely an eye-opener.

Whats more, realizing that there's people from other schools doing the same Lit text with you feels great.

And there's this cute St. Gab's boy to eye on. :)

Okay... So i actually managed to watch Hannah Montana the Movie.

LMAO. But particularly cos there's Tyra, Rascal Flatts and Taylor.

Darn. CIP tmrw. :(

espy

2009-06-03T21:42:00.003+08:00

Goodbye phoney. :(

I will miss punching the circular buttons despite its complicacy.

* * * * *

Your mood swings are giving me a whiplash.

Literature seminar tomorrow! WHOPEE :)

cun saja

2009-05-30T14:02:00.004+08:00

I'm yet to upload yesterday's photos soon.

Okay, i'm down with the O's. Yah, the big O's.

Its like, for the very first time, i'm actually studying for Bahasa Melayu.

I usually don't.

And above all, my phone died on me yesterday night.

Awesome shit. Now i have to invest money on a new one.

Oh man. :(

Okay, BOF tonight! (Whopeee) Though i've watched that episode already.

no boundaries

2009-05-21T21:18:00.002+08:00

KRIS :)

I am just so glad that he won over the gay, i mean i've been supporting him since Top 12, so yay to him for winning!

I sort of got frustrated that Irfan told the results during Junyuan Got Talent. His mom texted him the results. I really wanted to watch the whole show and feel the suspense! Ah gosh, spoilers. I feel your pain too Nat. :(

So if you watched American Idol results then you'd watched Adam Lambert's duet with KISS. Like whatever was Adam wearing.

Me: What is that? Cage?
Sonia: They should have put birds inside.

Twenty-three minutes later

Harith: Are those shoes made of wood? Damn i want them!

* * * * *

saranghae <3

2009-05-20T16:34:00.000+08:00

sometimes solutions aren't so simple

sometimes good bye's the only way

kyle pat <3

2009-05-20T16:25:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY ROCKSTAR (semi)BOYFRIEND

okay, love you xoxo.

there goes my hero

2009-05-17T17:38:00.006+08:00

Channel U's dubbing of the Taiwanese version of BOF was like a huge let-down.

They made Geum Jandi's voice sounded really fake (it is, anyway).

Thankfully, its Dual Sound so hearing Korean language was made possible.

Okay... Accounts paper tomorrow. The horror.

heartless

2009-05-15T16:39:00.008+08:00

I screw up my second essay for my Literature - Drama text Paper.

Damn. I can only cross my fingers for now.

Anyway, i am just so freaking happy Kris made it to the finals!
WHOPEEEE :)

But its pretty obvious the gay is winning.

I have no plans this weekend but only to complete watching Boys Over Flowers this Sunday on KBS (!!!) and an Accounts paper to study for.

And here I rest, where disappointment and regret collide, lying awake at night.

any other day

2009-05-10T18:00:00.003+08:00

Managed to slot some Boys Over Flowers weekend marathon time during breaks.

Kim Hyun Joong, i love you man! <3

blessed are the hearts that can bend

2009-05-08T16:43:00.003+08:00

And I will die, and you will die and we all will die,
and even the stars will fade out one after another in time.

Where's my Vaseline?

My lips are chapped and bleeding.

Thank You Mister Sun.

2009-05-02T11:24:00.003+08:00

If I listen closely, I can even hear your blood.

2009-04-30T21:45:00.007+08:00

Guitar Ensemble SYF 2009 @ The Republic Cultural Centre

27042009

Firstly I should say, waking up at four was the hardest thing to do, ever.

Performance was okay, i think, despite a few screw-up's.

But overall I think we were unique in our own way.

On top of that all, it was the last day I'll be with the whole Ensemble so it was pretty much a very meaningful day for me.

I'll definitely miss the awesome bunch of sec fours, the amazingly insane juniors and of course, Mr Rudy for teaching me so much for the past two years.
Thank You so much people. Love you.

I wasn't really that satisfied with the results, but i think its much better rather then getting zero award.

For what its worth, I had a blast.

Anyways, i look so geeky with my side bangs all tied up.

8)